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Apr 27, 2011
love

I don't know how to love him.
What to do, how to move him.
I've been changed, yes really changed.
In these past few days, when I've seen myself,
I seem like someone else.
I don't know how to take this.
I don't see why he moves me.
He's a man. He's just a man.
And I've had so many men before,
In very many ways,
He's just one more.
Should I bring him down?
Should I scream and shout?
Should I speak of love,
Let my feelings out?
I never thought I'd come to this.
What's it all about?
Don't you think it's rather funny,
I should be in this position.
I'm the one who's always been
So calm, so cool, no lover's fool,
Running every show.
He scares me so.
I never thought I'd come to this.
What's it all about?
Yet, if he said he loved me,
I'd be lost. I'd be frightened.
I couldn't cope, just couldn't cope.
I'd turn my head. I'd back away.
I wouldn't want to know.
He scares me so.
I want him so.
I love him so.


Posted at 05:52 pm by kattychan
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Mar 25, 2011
what can i do

it hurts when u say goodbye and walk away without giving me a backward glace, ur stride is purposeful and strong and excited like u just finished doing something u didnt really want to do but u had to. your off to have some fun and u dont mind at all leaving me behind, as far behind as u can.

Posted at 04:30 pm by kattychan
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Mar 19, 2011
i can grow and change but ur going to stay the same

You, with your words like knives
And swords and weapons that you use against me,
You, have knocked me off my feet again,
Got me feeling like Iím nothing.
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard
Calling me out when Iím wounded.
You, pickiní on the weaker man.

Well you can take me down,
With just one single blow.
But you donít know, what you donít know,

Someday, Iíll be living in a big old city,
And all youíre ever gonna be is mean.
Someday, Iíll be big enough so you canít hit me,
And all youíre ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?

You, with your switching sides,
And your widfire lies and your humiliation
You, have pointed out my flaws again,
As if I donít already see them.
I walk with my head down,
Trying to block you out cause Iíll never impress you
I just wanna feel okay again.

I bet you got pushed around,
Somebody made you cold,
But the cycle ends right now,
You canít lead me down that road,
You donít know, what you donít know
Someday, Iíll be, living in a big old city,
And all youíre ever gonna be is mean.
Someday, Iíll be big enough so you canít hit me,
And all youíre ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?

And I can see you years from now in a bar,
Talking over a football game,
With that same big loud opinion but,
Nobodyís listening,
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things,
Drunk and grumbling on about how I canít sing.

But all you are is mean,
All you are is mean.
And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life,
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

But someday, Iíll be, living in a big old city,
And all youíre ever gonna be is mean. Yeah,
Someday, Iíll be big enough so you canít hit me,
And all youíre ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so ?
Someday, Iíll be, living in a big old city,
And all youíre ever gonna be is mean. Yeah,
Someday, Iíll be big enough so you canít hit me,
And all youíre ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?


Posted at 02:58 pm by kattychan
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Mar 3, 2011
who cares.

self destructive mode.

Posted at 11:09 pm by kattychan
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Mar 1, 2011
not good enough

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much
I'm yours
And though my edges may be rough
I never feel I'm quite enough
It may not seem like very much
But I'm yours


Posted at 05:00 pm by kattychan
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before

It's been a while since the two of us talked
About a week since the day that you walked
Knowing things would never be the same
With your empty heart and mine full of pain

So explain to me, how it came to this
Let's take it back to the night we kissed
It was Dublin city on a Friday night
With vodkas and coke, I was guinness all night

We were sitting with our backs against the world
Saying things that we thought but never heard
Who would have thought it would end up like this?

But everything we talked about is gone
And the only chance we have of moving on
Was trying to take it back before it all went wrong

Before the worst
Before we met
Before our hearts decided it's time to love again
Before too late
Before too long
Let's try and take it back before it all went wrong

There was a time that we'd stay up all night
Best friends, yeah, talking til the daylight
Took the joys alongside the pain
With not much to lose but so much to gain

Are you hearing me? Cuz I don't wanna miss
That you would drift on memory bliss
It was Grafton street, on a rainy night
I was down on one knee and you were mine for life

We were thinking we would never be apart
With your name tattooed across my heart
Who would have thought it would end up like this?

But everything we talked about is gone
And the only chance we have of moving on
Was trying to take it back before it all went wrong

Before the worst
Before we met
Before our hearts decided it's time to love again
Before too late
Before too long
Let's try and take it back before it all went wrong

Posted at 04:50 pm by kattychan
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Feb 16, 2011
a break eh

These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed and I didn't call
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side and
Realized I loved you in the fall

And then the cold came,
The dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that time
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night,
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand



Posted at 01:56 pm by kattychan
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Feb 12, 2011
on the road again

A good friend once told me, never be a stop along the way always be a destination. I'm sorry dear friend, I am and always have been a stop along the way and i don't think anyone will ever treat me as a destination.

Posted at 01:23 am by kattychan
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Jan 1, 2011
:)

Push it out, fake a smile
AVERT disaster, just in time
I need a drink, cause in a while
Worthless answers from friends of mine
It's dumb to ask, cool to ignore
Girls posess me, but they're never mine
I made my entrance, avoided hazards
Checked my engine, I fell behind

I fell behind

She makes me feel like it's raining outside
And when the storm's gone i'm all torn up inside
I'm always nervous on, days like this like the prom
I get too scared to move, cause i'm a fuckin' boy

Remember when I was in the grocery store, now's my time
Lost the words,lost my nerve, lost the girl, left the line
I would wish upon a star, but that star, it doesn't shine
So read my book with a boring ending
A short story of a lonely guy

Who fell behind

She makes me feel like it's raining outside
And when the storm's gone i'm all torn up inside
I'm always nervous on, days like this like the prom
I get too scared to move, cause i'm a fuckin' boy

She makes me feel like it's raining outside
And when the storm's gone i'm all torn up inside
I'm always nervous on, days like this like the prom
I get too scared to move, cause i'm still just a stupid worthless boy

Posted at 01:13 pm by kattychan
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Dec 12, 2010
In every way

I smile
You say I take your breathe away
You say you love me and you make
All the right promises to break

And when I turn around you're always there
Like that's the proof you really care
But I see right through you and I think
To myself

You're just so predictable
In every way
I want you to know I know your game
It's so unbelievable how you never change
You won't get away with loving me
You're just so predictable

I run
You say you won't give up the chase
You say you'll follow me anyplace
So you can make the same mistakes

You know just what to do
And How to use the best of you
To try and change my mind
My eyes are opening this time
And I read you

You're just so predictable
In every way
I want you to know I know your game
It's so unbelievable how you never change
You won't get away with loving me
You're just so predictable

Now that I know your every move
How you gonna hide baby what you gonna do
Now that somebody knows the truth
About you and how you're just so

You're just so predictable
In every way
I want you to know I know your game
It's so unbelievable how you never change
You won't get away with loving me
You're just so predictable

Posted at 07:00 pm by kattychan
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