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Sep 24, 2011
when

I dreamed a dream in time gone by, when hope was high and life worth living. I dreamed that love would never die, I dreamed that god would be forgiving. But I was young and unafraid, and dreams were made and used and wasted. There was no ransom to be paid, no song unsung no wine untasted. But the tigers come at night, with their voice as soft as thunder. As they tear your hope apart, as they tear your dream to shame. He slept a summer by my side, he filled my days with endless wonder. He took my childhood in his stride, but he was gone when autumn came. And still I dream he'll come to me, and we will live the years together. But there are dreams that cannot be, and there are storms we cannot weather. I had a dream my life would be. So different from this hell I'm living, so different now to what it seemed. Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

Posted at 01:12 am by kattychan
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Sep 23, 2011
Im baaaack

now and then i think of when we were together like when you said you were so happy you could die told myself that you were right for me but felt so lonely in your company but that was love and its an ache that i will remember but you didnt have to cut me off make out like it never happened and that we were nothing and i dont even need your love but you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough you didnt have to stoop so low have your friends collect your things and change your number guess i dont even need that though now your just somebody that i used to know now and then i think of all the times you screwed me over but had me feeling like it was always something that id done and i dont want to live that way reading into every word you say you said you could let it go but now your just soebody that i used to know :(

Posted at 12:48 am by kattychan
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May 3, 2011
harsh reality

I think I'm in shock, just plain shock.
Its a harsh reality when the person who you love tells you they dont care about you.

Only there for the good times,
Its easier to deal with you if I lead you on and pretend to care
I dont care
I dont care
I dont care



Posted at 01:36 am by kattychan
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love

I don't know how to love him.
What to do, how to move him.
I've been changed, yes really changed.
In these past few days, when I've seen myself,
I seem like someone else.
I don't know how to take this.
I don't see why he moves me.
He's a man. He's just a man.
And I've had so many men before,
In very many ways,
He's just one more.
Should I bring him down?
Should I scream and shout?
Should I speak of love,
Let my feelings out?
I never thought I'd come to this.
What's it all about?
Don't you think it's rather funny,
I should be in this position.
I'm the one who's always been
So calm, so cool, no lover's fool,
Running every show.
He scares me so.
I never thought I'd come to this.
What's it all about?
Yet, if he said he loved me,
I'd be lost. I'd be frightened.
I couldn't cope, just couldn't cope.
I'd turn my head. I'd back away.
I wouldn't want to know.
He scares me so.
I want him so.
I love him so.

Posted at 01:35 am by kattychan
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Apr 27, 2011
love

I don't know how to love him.
What to do, how to move him.
I've been changed, yes really changed.
In these past few days, when I've seen myself,
I seem like someone else.
I don't know how to take this.
I don't see why he moves me.
He's a man. He's just a man.
And I've had so many men before,
In very many ways,
He's just one more.
Should I bring him down?
Should I scream and shout?
Should I speak of love,
Let my feelings out?
I never thought I'd come to this.
What's it all about?
Don't you think it's rather funny,
I should be in this position.
I'm the one who's always been
So calm, so cool, no lover's fool,
Running every show.
He scares me so.
I never thought I'd come to this.
What's it all about?
Yet, if he said he loved me,
I'd be lost. I'd be frightened.
I couldn't cope, just couldn't cope.
I'd turn my head. I'd back away.
I wouldn't want to know.
He scares me so.
I want him so.
I love him so.


Posted at 05:52 pm by kattychan
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Mar 25, 2011
what can i do

it hurts when u say goodbye and walk away without giving me a backward glace, ur stride is purposeful and strong and excited like u just finished doing something u didnt really want to do but u had to. your off to have some fun and u dont mind at all leaving me behind, as far behind as u can.

Posted at 04:30 pm by kattychan
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Mar 19, 2011
i can grow and change but ur going to stay the same

You, with your words like knives
And swords and weapons that you use against me,
You, have knocked me off my feet again,
Got me feeling like Iím nothing.
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard
Calling me out when Iím wounded.
You, pickiní on the weaker man.

Well you can take me down,
With just one single blow.
But you donít know, what you donít know,

Someday, Iíll be living in a big old city,
And all youíre ever gonna be is mean.
Someday, Iíll be big enough so you canít hit me,
And all youíre ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?

You, with your switching sides,
And your widfire lies and your humiliation
You, have pointed out my flaws again,
As if I donít already see them.
I walk with my head down,
Trying to block you out cause Iíll never impress you
I just wanna feel okay again.

I bet you got pushed around,
Somebody made you cold,
But the cycle ends right now,
You canít lead me down that road,
You donít know, what you donít know
Someday, Iíll be, living in a big old city,
And all youíre ever gonna be is mean.
Someday, Iíll be big enough so you canít hit me,
And all youíre ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?

And I can see you years from now in a bar,
Talking over a football game,
With that same big loud opinion but,
Nobodyís listening,
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things,
Drunk and grumbling on about how I canít sing.

But all you are is mean,
All you are is mean.
And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life,
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

But someday, Iíll be, living in a big old city,
And all youíre ever gonna be is mean. Yeah,
Someday, Iíll be big enough so you canít hit me,
And all youíre ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so ?
Someday, Iíll be, living in a big old city,
And all youíre ever gonna be is mean. Yeah,
Someday, Iíll be big enough so you canít hit me,
And all youíre ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?


Posted at 02:58 pm by kattychan
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Mar 3, 2011
who cares.

self destructive mode.

Posted at 11:09 pm by kattychan
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Mar 1, 2011
not good enough

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much
I'm yours
And though my edges may be rough
I never feel I'm quite enough
It may not seem like very much
But I'm yours


Posted at 05:00 pm by kattychan
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before

It's been a while since the two of us talked
About a week since the day that you walked
Knowing things would never be the same
With your empty heart and mine full of pain

So explain to me, how it came to this
Let's take it back to the night we kissed
It was Dublin city on a Friday night
With vodkas and coke, I was guinness all night

We were sitting with our backs against the world
Saying things that we thought but never heard
Who would have thought it would end up like this?

But everything we talked about is gone
And the only chance we have of moving on
Was trying to take it back before it all went wrong

Before the worst
Before we met
Before our hearts decided it's time to love again
Before too late
Before too long
Let's try and take it back before it all went wrong

There was a time that we'd stay up all night
Best friends, yeah, talking til the daylight
Took the joys alongside the pain
With not much to lose but so much to gain

Are you hearing me? Cuz I don't wanna miss
That you would drift on memory bliss
It was Grafton street, on a rainy night
I was down on one knee and you were mine for life

We were thinking we would never be apart
With your name tattooed across my heart
Who would have thought it would end up like this?

But everything we talked about is gone
And the only chance we have of moving on
Was trying to take it back before it all went wrong

Before the worst
Before we met
Before our hearts decided it's time to love again
Before too late
Before too long
Let's try and take it back before it all went wrong

Posted at 04:50 pm by kattychan
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